5 April 2002 // Teenage drama CRAP. Why do I still have to deal with this?
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*grumbles* I really hate this teenage relationship drama crap. I had plenty of it when I was in high school, and I was more than glad to leave it behind. But since all the gamers are teenagers, and all but one still in high school, the drama is inevitable. Goddammit. >.<
If any of the group is reading this diary, be warned up front that I am now RANTING. I am fed up with this crap and I will spare no one because I need to vent. If you don't like it, don't read.
David and RonJohn aren't here tonight because they're taking the ACT tomorrow morning (ganbatte ne!). I picked up Max at AI, and Spacey was there, but he'd just got started on some card game and asked if we'd go ahead and pick up Scott at Hinkle and come back and get him. Well, we get to Hinkle and Scott doesn't want to come because Spacey's going to be there, and is ranting about how he's going to kill him (or at least beat the crap out of him) next time he sees him. Ranting about how Spacey repoened emotional wounds that had just been starting to heal. Ranting about how he won't leave Nida alone. Ranting about his and Nida's plans to fuck Spacey over by setting up a very bad compromising situation. The only constructive thing he's doing is channeling his anger and frustration into playing DDR. I am instructed to tell Spacey that if he doesn't give Nida's stuff back by the end of the week, she's going to call the cops to get it back.
This bad blood between the two has been brewing for several weeks now, and it's obviously coming to a boil. And somehow, in coming to get people together for gaming, I've walked right in the middle of it... and I have to decide who I want to spend time with. I hate having to decide between friends, I really hate when my friends can't stand to be in the same room with each other.
Well, Spacey can be quite moody, and I really didn't want to deal with moodiness tonight. So I decided to call him and let him know that all we're going to do is watch Kenshin, not play any games, so he can stay at AI and play whatever he's playing. But he says he just wants to spend time with us... in the "i'm so sad and lonely" voice he does so well. I... tell him that Scott doesn't want to come if he's there... and he says he doesn't want to be there with Scott either, but he was at least willing to make the effort and come. I attempt to convey to him how pissed Scott is - dangerously so. He warns me that he thinks Nida and Scott are trying to turn all his friends against him, and I let him know that they're already trying it with me... and I don't appreciate it. By this point, I'm reaaaally frustrated with all of this... including the fact that I'm having to use a $.50 payphone for the conversation because my fscking cell phone is running out of batteries... and I give him a similar rant to the first paragraph of this entry. I was no good at dealing with this shit in high school and I was hoping to be away from it by now. I don't want to deal with EITHER of them tonight. Too much angst and drama for me. I think Max may have been feeling the same way. In the course of the conversation with Spacecase, we decide that we'll leave both him and Scott to their own devices, and we'll just go watch anime ourselves.
I hate seeing my friends mad at each other. I hate seeing them lie to each other, and plot against each other. I've been through this shit before, I hated it then, and I hate seeing other people go through it now. It breaks my heart, and I have no fucking clue what to do about it. I just want to make it all better, but I can't. I don't know how. I don't know what to say to make Spacecase undepressed. I don't know what to say to make Scott simmer down. I don't know how to fix it, I never did. And that frustrates me. It saddens me. I can't do anything. So I don't. I go into my classic method of dealing with relationship drama crap problems, the coping strategy that was drilled into me in elementary school when I was being teased for being too fat, too smart, too nerdy with my glasses. Ignore it. Ignore them, and they'll stop. Ignore the problem, and it'll go away.
I have my "Easily Distracted" flaw for a very good reason - it's a defense mechanism. I can get very emotionally involved in problems that aren't even my own... and those that are mine even more so. Getting distracted, channeling that energy into a silly obsession like anime or music or whatever... keeps me from getting completely overwhelmed and depressed. It doesn't always work, of course, and it's not a real solution, but it makes me feel better for a while. And there's nothing I can do, anyway, so why worry about it? Hell, I'm still avoiding really dealing with the leftovers of my own teenage drama crap from high school, why do I feel I have to take on the weight of the gamers' drama, too?
So... after stopping at Max's home to pick up his PS2 ('cause my dvd player still won't cooperate with subtitles, and he wanted to show me FFX cinemas) and at Raley's to get soda and a few munchies, we came here and proceeded to distract ourselves with Kenshin. Then David IM'ed me and asked what all was going on... and I told him the basics - due to drama between Scott and Spacey, it was just us two watching Kenshin. He wanted to know what happened. That set off my need to rant, resulting in this entry. About halfway through typing it, that dvd finished, and Max showed off the eyecandy that is Final Fantasy X. Then we played Evil Zone for a while before I took him home. When I returned, I couldn't leave this unfinished, so here you are. If you're still reading, thanks for listening. I'm going to crash now. -_-
recent alterations //
21 November 2002 // I'm not dead yet!
03 October 2002 // Snarling bitch to genki fangirl in 0.8 seconds flat! [i]
27 September 2002 // He's got butterfly wings, not feathery angel wings. Geez, people!
25 September 2002 // The Great Oekaki Contest Begins! [ai]
14 September 2002 // The obsessiveness continues...
