19 August 2001 // What religion are you now?
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Yay!!! I finally finished Final Fantasy IX!!! Wow. The ending was so amazing, and so touching... and left so much room for fanfic about Kuja and Zidane... that's all I'm going to say. ^_^ Except that, of course, first thing I did after finishing the game was search for such fanfic. Found a very good one here. It's spoilery, so if you haven't finished the game, don't read it. Of course, it won't make much sense if you haven't finished the game. ^_^;; The second thing I did was go looking for the soundtrack, and none of the places in town had it! grr! Going to have to order it... hehheh.
And now I have a Kuja wallpaper... *sigh* he has such a nice figure... very distracting. *ahem*
Complete change of subject: Chenoa asked me this morning on IM "What religion are you now? I'm still pagan. (Duh)" I've been thinking about this a lot lately, especially since I got back in touch with her a few months ago, and made mention of going to church. It's kind of an odd subject for me. The question deserved a serious answer, so I gave it one. Here's my long-winded response...
You make it sound like it has to be such a definite thing - for me, it's not. I don't really think of myself as following a specific "religion" - to me, that implies a certain set of dogmas and beliefs, as well as practices - and I've kind of given up on dogmas right now. Beliefs... I'm kind of fuzzy on specifics, but I do believe in the connectedness and the sacredness of all things, and that anything we sent out (energy-wise) comes back to us in one form or another. That divinity in all things and all people, we can give it a name such as God or Goddess to make it easier to recognize, but in so doing we sometimes separate the concept of divinity from reality, when it's not really separate at all. There is an excellent story/article called Little Witch and the Christian that explains the basic difference in world view between Christianity (and other "prophetic" religions) and Paganism: in the prophetic religions, the concept of reality is that God is separate from creation, and creation is less than divine; in paganism, in earth-based religions, there is no separation, the world, and everything in it is divine. The challenge is to live out of respect of that divinity, and that's rarely easy. ^_^;;
So... I am pagan in philosophy, I name divinity "Goddess"... but I still go to a Presbyterian church (which I am going to be so late for). How does that work? For one, it's New Life, which is a *very* eclectic church. I feel at home in the community there, I'm comfortable among all these strange people (and I have the feeling that many of them are pagan at heart, too). It's quite possibly the only christian church I'd feel comfortable in. They're not afraid to call God "She" - we're very conscious of using inclusive language. We respect the fact that each individual is on their own spiritual path, and do all we can to provide each other support and friendship along the way. The community is *very* welcoming of lesbians and gays - the associate pastor is gay, his partner is everything but ordained as well, and they bring a lot of almost "pagan" color to the worship service (Ken called the quarters at Myles' and Vonna's commitment ceremony, which I sang at a couple of years ago... on Halloween). The music is excellent - Matalie is positively magical on the piano, and I think this group sings more, and with more genuine enthusiasm, than any other congregation I've been in. I tried going to the Unitarian church, but I didn't get the same feeling of deep connection - it seemed too intellectual and noncommital. I did go to a summer solstice ritual with the CUUPS group there, and it was wonderful (as was the potluck after), but there wasn't enough music! With New Life, there's a very strong sense of deep joy and real emotional and spiritual connection in worship, which I crave. I'm also committed to one more year serving as a deacon... after which, I don't know, I may stay there, I may move on to something else. I'll find out when it happens. ^_^
I still do my own rituals at home. One of the nice things about having my own place now is that I can do so without having to worry about being interrupted. -_-;; I will not wear a cross, I wear a Goddess pendant or a labyrinth or this piece of hematite that begged to be made into a pendant (which, Vonna pointed out, looks rather like a Goddess itself). ^_^ I cringe at a lot of what Paul says in his epistles (that guy had a lot of separation anxiety). There are a couple of people at NL (and at work) that I'm not real comfortable around, as they are somewhat more "fundamentalist" (see comment about Paul). There's more I want to explore, to connect with, and I do. Essentially, I'm still a seeker, and I'm on a continuing journey down an ever-changing path.
Er... and after that, and after a shower I really needed, I ended up missing church. *sigh*
I'm watching the NASCAR WC "Pepsi 400" race this afternoon - they just showed that Dale Earnhardt Jr. is finally wearing the Hutchins Device - a head-and-neck restraint system. *cheering, bouncing, general merriment* Yay! Thank you, Jeff Burton, for talking him into it! ^_^
Gotta go to my parents' house and deal with boxes, then Mom's coming over here to help me hang art. I'm almost completely moved in... really! ^_^;;
Ja ne!
recent alterations //
21 November 2002 // I'm not dead yet!
03 October 2002 // Snarling bitch to genki fangirl in 0.8 seconds flat! [i]
27 September 2002 // He's got butterfly wings, not feathery angel wings. Geez, people!
25 September 2002 // The Great Oekaki Contest Begins! [ai]
14 September 2002 // The obsessiveness continues...
